I had just hit the official halfway point of the Greatest Hits Tour when my mother (aka Big Bad Betty, BBB, Trip B) met me in Thailand for two weeks. This was a highly anticipated moment. It had been a significant year of grieving and transition since we last saw each other. And, this was a bold step for my mother -- her first trip overseas without my father and her first Asian experience.
With the excitement of seeing my mom and the pride in her for taking this brave step in her travel life, I had not really given much thought to the fact that I was traveling with my mother. Now, don't get me wrong; traveling with your mother is awesome, especially if she is Big Bad Betty, the greatest mom in the world. There are, however, a different set of rules and expectations to this travel arrangement. Having spent months blazing my own trail, I occasionally forgot that this was a different ballgame...
The crowning moment of this took place when BBB and I were in Pai. It is a small backpacker bonanza a few hours north of Chiang Mai, nestled in the mountains, full of organic-y restaurants and white people wearing Ali Baba pants. It is sort of what I love and hate most about Thailand all at once.
It also happens to be the perfect place to bump into someone that you have seen previously on the tourist trail. I have a skill for chance encounters anyways, but I also always interpret them with some degree of significance. It, therefore, simultaneously felt like a grandly fateful moment and an obvious event when Trip B and I bumped into Stu. I met Stu about a month prior in Bagan, Burma. We were staying at the same accommodation and found ourselves sitting outside our neighboring rooms one afternoon, shooting the breeze while we were trying to catch a breeze (the electricity was out and the fans were not circulating). We had a great conversation about life, love, the future, and our shared mid-western identities (he is from St. Louis and his grandmother lives in Allen Park!). After that day, he went his own way with his temporary travel companion (a lovely American girl who happened to be 10 years my junior), and I went mine.
So, there we were again, a month later, on the streets of Pai, me with my mother and him quite notably without that young girl. Obviously, I invited him to join me and Trip B for dinner.
If you know my mom, you understand that she is probably the world's best wing-woman. A hallmark moment might be the Saturday night when I was laying in bed Granny Annie style, and I received a phone call at 11pm with the voice of a nice gentleman on the other end and my mother's muffled voice in the background: "Hi. Yeah, I just met your mom and she said that you are single and that I should call you." Thanks, Mom.
She may not have realized it at the time, but she was really helping me lay the groundwork for action with this babe, Stu. I have been defying my familial alcoholic roots and living a dry-ish lifestyle over the last three months. It's not really possible, however, to stay on the wagon when Betty is in town. So, along with dinner, there were a few beers. As we were leaving the restaurant, we met a woman named Leanne (who BBB promptly started calling Cousin Leanne) trying to promote her bar. Betty was onboard pretty much immediately, empathizing with the plight of a struggling bar owner and loving the opportunity to shove bar flyers in the hands of young tourists. We drank at Cousin Leanne's bar along with some of Betty's recruits, but Big Bad wasn't ready to party until dawn. After a few cheap rum and cokes, she decided to retire. Stu and I, on the other hand, decided to continue drinking.
Needless to say, I shared a bed with someone other than Big Bad Betty that night.
At 9:30am, my cell phone rang. It took me a minute to realize that it was my phone. There were only three people that had my number in Thailand, so the sound of my phone buzzing was quite novel. The caller ID told me that it was one of the three holders of my number -- my brother's ex-girlfriend.
Me: "Jules! What's up?"
Jules: "Girl, where are you? Your mom is so worried."
Good Lord, Betty contacted Jules!?!? Why??? How??? Whaaaaaaa???
Let me interject some important background information here. This ex-girlfriend is not just any ex-girlfriend. My brother was in a relationship with Jules for seven years, and they only broke up a few moths ago. She is an absolutely amazing woman, so the loss of her has brought heartbreak to the whole family. She lives in Chiang Mai now, and I met up with her for dinner a few days prior. My mom was adamant that she did not want to join us. Seeing Jules would be too sad, too painful, and she didn't want to make things any harder for Jules by being an emotional hot mess.
Suddenly, Betty was singing a different tune when she was gripped with early morning anxiety. A missing in action daughter allowed her to put all that emotional baggage aside. My mother woke up at 7:30am thinking that I might be dead and, more importantly, that she might be left to fend for herself in northern Thailand. In her panicky resourcefulness, she realized that she had acquired one Thai phone number many months ago -- the number for Jules. In her state of desperation, she googled how to skype a Thai cell phone and connected with Jules -- the first contact she had had with her since the break-up with Tommy. She explained that I had abandoned her and asked Jules if she could help get a hold of me. Despite the fact that Jules is trying to pull herself out of the Skinner vortex, she was sucked right back in the middle, called upon to lead the search party for Betty's delinquent daughter.
I explained to Jules my whereabouts and asked her to let my mom know that I was with Stu and that I would return to the hotel right away. I pulled my hung-over self together and did the walk of shame back to my mother's place.
So, a quick recap here: I was traveling with my mom. I bumped into a babe with whom I had a great vibe. My mom basically paved the way for our night of romance. Intoxicated, I chose not to formally notify my mom of the naked sleepover (because maybe that would be a bit awkward anyways?). My mom freaked out and called my brother's ex-girlfriend. My brother's ex-girlfriend called me. I leave the babe in a rush because I am in big trouble with my mom.
Have I mentioned that I am 31 years old?
Betty and I spent most of that day debriefing the incident. I encouraged her to lay down a thick layer of guilt on me, but occasionally I attempted to defend myself. After a while, we entered the more light-hearted joking phase. At that point, Mom told me that if she wrote a blog, she would title her post, "Daughter Chooses Casual Sex Over Well-Being of Senior Citizen Mother." Because I actually have a blog, I thought I could materialize the humorous hypothetical post for her. I think it is about time that I tarnish my good name a bit anyways. It's the least I can do after leaving my poor mother to the Thailand worry wolves.
With the excitement of seeing my mom and the pride in her for taking this brave step in her travel life, I had not really given much thought to the fact that I was traveling with my mother. Now, don't get me wrong; traveling with your mother is awesome, especially if she is Big Bad Betty, the greatest mom in the world. There are, however, a different set of rules and expectations to this travel arrangement. Having spent months blazing my own trail, I occasionally forgot that this was a different ballgame...
The crowning moment of this took place when BBB and I were in Pai. It is a small backpacker bonanza a few hours north of Chiang Mai, nestled in the mountains, full of organic-y restaurants and white people wearing Ali Baba pants. It is sort of what I love and hate most about Thailand all at once.
It also happens to be the perfect place to bump into someone that you have seen previously on the tourist trail. I have a skill for chance encounters anyways, but I also always interpret them with some degree of significance. It, therefore, simultaneously felt like a grandly fateful moment and an obvious event when Trip B and I bumped into Stu. I met Stu about a month prior in Bagan, Burma. We were staying at the same accommodation and found ourselves sitting outside our neighboring rooms one afternoon, shooting the breeze while we were trying to catch a breeze (the electricity was out and the fans were not circulating). We had a great conversation about life, love, the future, and our shared mid-western identities (he is from St. Louis and his grandmother lives in Allen Park!). After that day, he went his own way with his temporary travel companion (a lovely American girl who happened to be 10 years my junior), and I went mine.
So, there we were again, a month later, on the streets of Pai, me with my mother and him quite notably without that young girl. Obviously, I invited him to join me and Trip B for dinner.
If you know my mom, you understand that she is probably the world's best wing-woman. A hallmark moment might be the Saturday night when I was laying in bed Granny Annie style, and I received a phone call at 11pm with the voice of a nice gentleman on the other end and my mother's muffled voice in the background: "Hi. Yeah, I just met your mom and she said that you are single and that I should call you." Thanks, Mom.
She may not have realized it at the time, but she was really helping me lay the groundwork for action with this babe, Stu. I have been defying my familial alcoholic roots and living a dry-ish lifestyle over the last three months. It's not really possible, however, to stay on the wagon when Betty is in town. So, along with dinner, there were a few beers. As we were leaving the restaurant, we met a woman named Leanne (who BBB promptly started calling Cousin Leanne) trying to promote her bar. Betty was onboard pretty much immediately, empathizing with the plight of a struggling bar owner and loving the opportunity to shove bar flyers in the hands of young tourists. We drank at Cousin Leanne's bar along with some of Betty's recruits, but Big Bad wasn't ready to party until dawn. After a few cheap rum and cokes, she decided to retire. Stu and I, on the other hand, decided to continue drinking.
Needless to say, I shared a bed with someone other than Big Bad Betty that night.
At 9:30am, my cell phone rang. It took me a minute to realize that it was my phone. There were only three people that had my number in Thailand, so the sound of my phone buzzing was quite novel. The caller ID told me that it was one of the three holders of my number -- my brother's ex-girlfriend.
Me: "Jules! What's up?"
Jules: "Girl, where are you? Your mom is so worried."
Good Lord, Betty contacted Jules!?!? Why??? How??? Whaaaaaaa???
Let me interject some important background information here. This ex-girlfriend is not just any ex-girlfriend. My brother was in a relationship with Jules for seven years, and they only broke up a few moths ago. She is an absolutely amazing woman, so the loss of her has brought heartbreak to the whole family. She lives in Chiang Mai now, and I met up with her for dinner a few days prior. My mom was adamant that she did not want to join us. Seeing Jules would be too sad, too painful, and she didn't want to make things any harder for Jules by being an emotional hot mess.
Suddenly, Betty was singing a different tune when she was gripped with early morning anxiety. A missing in action daughter allowed her to put all that emotional baggage aside. My mother woke up at 7:30am thinking that I might be dead and, more importantly, that she might be left to fend for herself in northern Thailand. In her panicky resourcefulness, she realized that she had acquired one Thai phone number many months ago -- the number for Jules. In her state of desperation, she googled how to skype a Thai cell phone and connected with Jules -- the first contact she had had with her since the break-up with Tommy. She explained that I had abandoned her and asked Jules if she could help get a hold of me. Despite the fact that Jules is trying to pull herself out of the Skinner vortex, she was sucked right back in the middle, called upon to lead the search party for Betty's delinquent daughter.
I explained to Jules my whereabouts and asked her to let my mom know that I was with Stu and that I would return to the hotel right away. I pulled my hung-over self together and did the walk of shame back to my mother's place.
So, a quick recap here: I was traveling with my mom. I bumped into a babe with whom I had a great vibe. My mom basically paved the way for our night of romance. Intoxicated, I chose not to formally notify my mom of the naked sleepover (because maybe that would be a bit awkward anyways?). My mom freaked out and called my brother's ex-girlfriend. My brother's ex-girlfriend called me. I leave the babe in a rush because I am in big trouble with my mom.
Have I mentioned that I am 31 years old?
Betty and I spent most of that day debriefing the incident. I encouraged her to lay down a thick layer of guilt on me, but occasionally I attempted to defend myself. After a while, we entered the more light-hearted joking phase. At that point, Mom told me that if she wrote a blog, she would title her post, "Daughter Chooses Casual Sex Over Well-Being of Senior Citizen Mother." Because I actually have a blog, I thought I could materialize the humorous hypothetical post for her. I think it is about time that I tarnish my good name a bit anyways. It's the least I can do after leaving my poor mother to the Thailand worry wolves.
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